Are Thai girls really so bad in marriage?


136 posts in this topic

Posted

We have this topic about Thai men

http://www.orientexpat.com/forum/23719-are-thai-men-really-so-bad-in-marriage/page__fromsearch__1

So, what about Thai girls?

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Posted

We are waiting for your opinion, Bluecat, go ahead please....

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Posted

It seems Thai women are a very bad choice for long term relationships

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Posted

I am not sure, around me, I see basically 2 groups,

1 -

Thai women who are living with a foreign man (often retired) in Thailand - age difference it seems does not matter - for many of them it's OK over years.

2 -

Thai women who were moving abroad to live with a foreign man and the foreign man was NEVER living in Thailand (expect for vacation) - many divorces.

In general I got the impression, that Thai women prefer to live in Thailand, and if the foreign husband cannot move over to Thailand and is able to earn money there or is otherwise financially secure (that's a problem and not so easy!), it's frequently ending in divorce.

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Posted

So what kind of US monthly income coming in would a Expat need to have a middle class life in Thailand?

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Posted

A Thai middle class life or a Western middle class life?

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Posted

Completely off topic, start a thread, or post in an existing thread, such as: http://www.orientexpat.com/forum/23940-living-costs-in-thailand/

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Posted

nicegy suggests that Thai women are a bad choice for long term relationships.

In my long term experience, I certainly would not second that.

I have been fortunate enough to have been married to two Thai ladies. [though not at the same time.]

The first marriage lasted over 25yrs and in effect she was my one true love. And my present on going one, 5yrs.

All the farangs I've met who have thai wives seem to be 'doers' not followers. Able to take the initiative. Unwilling to be swallowed up into a humdrum life.

If I was teleported back in time and given the choice of playing it safe with your standard UK bird....No chance.

I must admit to having some sympathy for the lads of today. Easily drawn into a wretched life in the company of a prime example of UK feminism. A species often seen pebble dashing the pavement and likely with knickers down, at chuckin' out time any Saturday night.

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Posted

It's good to hear the other side

Continue please

I wonder why there are so many sour grapes here it seems

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Posted

There are very few 'sour grapes' on OE. If memory serves me aright, then all regular OE members with Thai wives are pretty happy with their lot.

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Posted

Good to know

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Posted

It seems Thai women are a very bad choice for long term relationships

Do not be misled by the title of this topic. As Stocky said, quite a few long-term members of OE are married to Thai women and pretty happy about it.

Critics and complaints usually come from short-term or should I say, sometimes, very short-term members actually :D

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Posted

Also those that are unhappy make more noise than those of us that are happy.

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Posted

Not only the unhappy ones...

In case of international mixed race marriage there are frequently outsiders showing up and will claim many strange things, everything from poor rural girls who must be rescued, doormats, prostitutes, mail-order-brides...up to Western men (more recently also men from Asian countries) as losers, pedophiles, violent abusers, sex-tourists etc. etc.

There are human rights groups, women rights groups, religious groups, American-Asian racist groups, Asian nationalists etc. etc. and they know all and everything better than those couples themselves.

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Posted

So would you say There is a higher percentage of happy East West marriages than West West marriages?

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Posted

What do you mean with East - Thai only or also other Asians? Women only or also men?

What do you mean with West? Caucasian men, or US-men or also Western females married with an Asian man?

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Posted

Impossible to say, there are no statistics, any comment would be speculation/supposition.

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Posted

East-West West-West...

I come from the South. :lolipop:

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Posted

Data about couples between Western foreigners und Asian local people regarding divorce are not so easy to find, even not from USA.

I think, but this is just my opinion and I cannot prove that, but if the couple is living in Asia in the native country of the wife (sometimes husband, still the minority) it works out often very nicely.

It goes often wrong, if the Asian wife is moving without any experience to Western countries with a Western man whose only relationship to Asia is tourism.

It's not only about East West marriages vs. West West marriages, that's not a question of either/or and no other choice. It's also about to remain single as a Western man. Those by-data are also difficult to consider but they should not be ignored.

About myself, I think, I would be still single if I had continued to live in Europe instead of Japan.

I am convinced - still now after so many years - I could never find a young Western woman while I was still young myself and not financially so well off.

East-West West-West...

I come from the South.

Not really, isn't Australia a part of Asia?

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Posted

I have mixed feelings about my own mixed-race marriage, and it seems odd to me that forum posters really do clearly separate into people that are so far towards the positive or negative extremes.

Maybe this has to do with having a generally positive or negative outlook in addition to the actual circumstances. Or maybe it's because there are generally two types of expat personality types and marriages, with the more positive based on well-grounded experience and balanced outlook and others headed south for the lack of it.

In the end I guess I'm the exception because all goes generally ok but with plenty of ups and downs.

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Posted

I'm positive about my marriage, but I'm not to say it's total bliss!

All marriages have their ups and downs, irregardless of the couple.

How you deal with them decides if your marriage will work or not.

The important thing is to identify problems and then discuss them.

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Posted

Not really, isn't Australia a part of Asia?
No, though it often seems there are more Asians living there than Caucasians.

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Posted

Separated by the 'Wallace Line'.

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Posted

We are waiting for your opinion, Bluecat, go ahead please....

I have a very talkative wife, nothing to do with the fact that she is Thai, I guess, but it sure helps communication.

And communication is key.

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Posted

Separated by the 'Wallace Line'.

Why can Australia not be considered as a big island of Asia?

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Posted

Because of the locals, not really Asians, even the ones originally from Asia morph into Aussies pretty fast when in Australia

And well, off topic.

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Posted

I meant Thai US marriages as opposed to Two Americans

I think you answered my question

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Posted

Why can Australia not be considered as a big island of Asia?

Well geologically speaking it's a distinct continental plate, this is the reason the flora and fauna are very different either side of the Wallace Line, the Australian continental plate was isolated for many millions of years.

However, economically speaking Australia is these days a part of Asia.

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Posted

it's the cultural differences which normally causer the problems and, personally, why would you come here to get married? each to their own but I am not a great believer in the 'Love Story' thing

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Posted

My case might not be that representative but I still like to contribute it, as it might be helpful to a few of you with similar circumstances: My (Thai) wife and I are married for more than 7 years now and since 4 years we are having a wonderful daughter.

After having had a job in a restaurant in Thailand before, my wife had been as an au-pair in Germany for a year before we got married.

Our original plan was, that, as soon as I was able to leave my workplace [with a Dow Jones-listed company, where I had been working for >20 years in various European locations] with some kind of "silver handshake", we would move to Thailand.

The first years - while I was still employed - we lived in a big German city with a huge Asian (i.e. Japanese in this case) subpopulation, where ALL Asians were nont only well respected but really "loved" by the locals, as they mostly behaved much better and friendlier than many of my younger (German) countryfellows. Over there my wife was absolutely happy. Every year we went to Thailand for just 3 weeks. When I quit that company, my sister asked me to stay one more year in Germany before moving to Thailand for good - together with my wife in my sister's house - for an "extended farewell-time", so to say. We all enjoyed this retirement-like period, with the only handicap, that the new home-base/location was a mid-size city and in its vincinity there was a large amount of private redlight appartments, which were populated predominantly by .... Thai women ... Thus the neighbours gave us strange looks every day, even though my father had been major of that town, before he died, and I had some visible political involvements as well. Nevertheless, life was wonderful: Enough time to visit mountains, zoos, shores, tennis courts, public pools, parks and other lovely places, where you may enjoy life under the blue sky, without being sunburned after 7 minutes.

But during those "leisure" days I found much more time, to read forums and to communicate with ex-colleagues, who had gone to Thailand after their retirement (with Thai or Faland spouses) and had been living there for quite some time already. These guys were all well educated, financially stable and had seen various other countries on all continents during their active time. The longer I contemplated their comments and listened to their expereinces, the more the obvious changes in the daily life in Thailand influenced me. In the meantime, even though she felt not in a hurry, my wife was - of course - going on dreaming about a family life in Thailand, while I appreciated more and more the German healthcare system, the lack of corruption in Western Europe, the lack of rude/criminal acts with no (or just a little) protection by police, the Western infrastructure and cultural attractions with operas, theatres, the well-obeyed traffic-rules, the freedom of speech, the reliability of governmental institutions and much more.

Still, loving my wife, I felt obliged to follow the agreed plan and move to Thailand soon.

Then we were struck by a lightning: My wife got pregnant and while she was longing to give birth to the baby in the Kingdom, I convinced her that we better take benefit from the well established medical competencies in a German hospital. Now, learning more and more about "Thai schools", I realized pretty soon, that we better not put the burden of a Thai school to the shoulders of our daughter but offer her unlimited access to our schools and universities. After many long discussions, my wife agreed, that it would not be fair to keep our girl away from the excellent German educational system, thus the emigration was .... postponed until our youngster will be self-sufficient.

Up from that very day, - even though now we are spending 8 weeks per year in the Kingdom - our marriage became a desaster, as NOW - being aware that she will not live in Thailand for good within the immediate future - her homesickness made her start to drink and get more and more agressive. Her brain agrees, that for the sake of our daughter, it is much better to stay here and from here she has developed a distinguished view on the dark sides of her country, but her soul and her heart cannot eat that, because it is her HOME.

And - no need to mention this - I understand her to 100 percent and I have to admit, that it was absolutely MY FAULT, to agree to the emigration to Thailand after only having been there (mostly away from all touristical centres) for only 10 months.

Looking at several Thai-falang couples over here, at the end of the day I come to the conclusion, that probably only very few Thai women might feel perfectly at home in the caucasian world. And I recommend that everybody, who is planning to have a baby with his Thai wife, but NOT to settle in Thailand, better discuss the future in depth with his loved one.

Apologies for having reported a bit too broad, but I tried to anticipate potential add-on queries.

P.s.: By the way, I want to explicitely thank YOHAN. I very much enjoyed all his comments at many places, and, in fact, I learned a lot from you !!!

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