Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0

Another Filipina bargirl dilemma

38 posts in this topic

Posted

at first, i am 24 and i am traveling around asia for some time. i arrived in angeles 4 days ago, wanting to travel around the islands for a few weeks. intentionally i only wanted to stay here in angeles for 2 days, just to see what this whole bar life is about and talk to some of the girls, thats it.

my problem is, on the second day i met a girl outside a bar that i really like. however, we were talking outside the bar for about 30 minutes and after that, i offered her to buy a drink and talk to her. we immediately seemed to have some kind of connection, at least thats what i felt, she isnt talking too much about personal feelings. i had a bit too much beer, that i normally dont like, but i drink it because i am too shy otherwise. she told me that she is very shy as well, when i look at her i think it could be true because she is always looking in another direction when i look into her eyes, but sometimes i have the feeling she is lying to me.

anyway, i didnt barfine her but before she left, she gave me her phone number and i had to promise her not to meet any other girls. that was no problem for me as i only talk to girls and she is the only one i that i really like. the next day i drank a few beers with a guy on the street that i was talking to, just to get a bit more relaxed and less shy, but i obviously drank too much, as i found out later.

i went back to the bar to meet her, and as usual she was staying outside to get customers inside. i looked into her eyes, and after i asked her how she felt, i could immediately feel that she was different that second day. she didnt talk much, she barely looked into my direction. however, i barfined her and told her that i only want to talk, thats it(and of course, to find out what was wrong with her that day).

however, we went barhopping, but it didnt seem to work out well. i just had too much beer that night, i even dropped a glass on one of the bartables. she was always sitting at the table, checking her cellphone and writing messages. after two bars, we went to my hotel room. i wanted to talk to her, but she told me that she was tired and she will talk to me tomorrow morning and i was fine with that, so i let her sleep.

in the morning, it was very hard for me to start a conversation, but after a few minutes it started to work out well. i asked her what she did before, and she told me that she was working with her parents at a rice farm, having 4 siblings, she is the only one who isnt married and is therefore working in a bar and supporting her family. i asked her if she liked her work and was planning to do that for long time, she said she liked it because she thinks that she can meet a nice guy someday and that she didnt plan to do this kind of work for a long time.

i asked her what she thought about all the older guys with young filipina women and she told me that she wants to find a guy like that as well. she had a filipino boyfriend before, but he dropped her, so now she thinks that all the young boys are just players, going from one girl to another and that old guys are more serious about relationships and more caring and loving. we were talking a lot more, but she still seemed to be very shy and i always asked her why, she told me because i am a handsome guy and she is such and ugly girl, thats what she keeps telling me all the time. what she also told me was that she hasnt seen her parents since about 9 months and that she really misses them. however, later that morning she left, i was giving her tip because i thought she needs the money, and i told her that i didnt give her the money for staying with me, but because i thought she needs it more than me and i like her.

i was thinking all day about her, thinking what i might have done wrong or why she seems to be so unhappy. i thought maybe its really because she hasnt seen her family for a long time so i was planning to ask her if she wants to come to cebu with me for a few days so that she can see her parents, and that she is more happy then. but i didnt have a chance to ask. because i went back to the bar again that night, and she was outside. she didnt even look at me, it seems to me that she was even trying to leave. when i asked her what was wrong, she told me that she has already been barfined, but she was afraid to tell me. however, i wished her a good night and left the bar because i thought it didnt make any sense to go along talking and i didnt want to be annoying. a few hours later i came back to check if it was true what she said, and it wasnt. i talked to one of her friends at the bar, and she told me that she lied about the barfine, and that she was inside with another guy that recently appeared ( so noone that she knew before). and she also told me, that she is having sex with a lot of her customers. that really p###ed me off, not because of the fact she had sex with a lot of guys but because she told me she onlu goes for barhop if she gets barfined, she has never entered a hotel room before the night i took her home to my hotel room. so i told her friend i wanna talk to her tomorrow, and want to get to know why she is lying to me all the time. i really like her, even if she just becomes a friend of mine. but i cannot understand why she kept telling me she really likes me, that i am handsome and that she is an ugly girl but she was telling me so many lies.

any guys with more experience with bargirls like this that can help me? or tell me what might be wrong? i am going to the bar again today, trying to talk to her. i just cannot leave this town before i know whats wrong, it makes me going crazy.

ps: what i forgot to mention, it may looks like she has another guy, but i dont think so. her friends seem to be a lot more honest to me than her, and they told me that she had an old foreing guy some time before but thats over. she has got regular customers, but nothing serious.


mike

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Nice story! :whistling:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

:whistling:


Excellent - we haven't had a decent troll posting for a while...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

CaptainChaos, the only troll in this thread is obviously YOU! even if this story sounds crazy, i am totally serious about it. i laugh about myself when i even think about this whole thing, i had never thought that i would care about a girl like her, but i just cant change it ... i wish i could. Edited by mike24

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

:whistling:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

okay ... it seems like posting my problem in a forum like this is more foolish than my behaviour about the girl. :whistling:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Bargirls are bargirls, in Thailand, in Philippines and elsewhere, hae fun and then forget them. There is little else what I can add, I think.

Again, forget her and move on.

[quote name='mike24' timestamp='1280651863' post='134023']
okay ... it seems like posting my problem in a forum like this is more foolish than my behaviour about the girl. :whistling:
[/quote]

Why? Because you get replies you do not like or you did not expect?

What other kind of advice do you want to hear?

Forget her and move on.

If you want to do something good in the Philippines, then do it for the children, there are 100000s of them sleeping in the streets.

To do something for bargirls is the ticket to nowhere, please understand that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

What is your native tongue, mike24?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

its german, i know my grammar and so on wasnt perfect ...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Not everybody here is a native English speaker. My native tongue is also German btw.

Anyway, most native German speakers can communicate in more than one language, but most English native speakers cannot...

About your subject, I can only repeat, forget her. such girls are many, you cannot help everybody you meet in Philippines. OK?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

I just do not understand why anyone would worry over why a bar girl doesn't want to talk to you. Have fun with her yes, have meaningful conversations and a deep connection with her? Hell no!

I have no problem with two consenting adults doing what ever they choose to do together. But be realistic you have to know she is not a keeper. Edited by rae1968

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

[quote name='mike24' timestamp='1280643241' post='134007']
at first, i am 24 and i am traveling around asia for some time. i arrived in angeles 4 days ago...
[/quote]
I phased out at this point.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Well usually 99.9% of what they say is bull sh*te, so there lies your answer. Honestly you just met the bird and you expect her to open up to you and be honest? Just shag her brains out and let that be the end of it. :whistling:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

[quote name='mike24' timestamp='1280662363' post='134036']i know my grammar and so on wasnt perfect ...[/quote]-I wasn't going to bash you. You did well.

It [i]is[/i] more interesting than your bargirl story, though... :whistling:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

:thmbup: :lol: L O L

Reminds me of my foolish post a while back, oh how you learn quickly.

FORGET HER, bar girls are for f#####g not for talking too. I do know how your feeling bud as I am young like you and have been there, but seriously go and enjoy the islands, go diving or something.

Your eyes will eventually be opened to reality.

Cheers.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Bars are no place for nice guys to meet nice girls :lol: at least that's what my mother always said. But I guess sometimes it works out for people. I personally know someone who used to be a "drinks" girl in Singapore but has been happily married for years now. She married an old customer of hers.

Anyway, about YOUR dilemma, I'm Filipina but I have no idea what's on her mind. However, if you really do like her, continue trying to see her, but don't lose your head. You're young, enjoy your travels and in time you might meet somebody else you'll like even more and will treat you decently. :thmbup:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Watch out for the herpesyphilitis.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Over here, they call it herpesyphigonacockalitis.
Not sure about the spelling. Edited by METHOS

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

herpesyphigonacockalitis

Or the Monty Python Medical Love Song:
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnvZpi3nbsc&feature=related[/media]

Edited to have a clip to include the lyrics and the original Chapman vocal. Edited by TizMe
Thread cleaned up.. a few posts removed

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

I just don't understand how someone can be surprised that someone whose job it is too fake emotion and interest so they can get your money would be dishonest!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

For most people, the act of sex is an intimate exchange - whether it means anything or not. For a prostitute, the importance and/or significance of a sexual act becomes less so over time. I guess it becomes easier (for most people) to believe what someone says/does - after they've willingly had sex with you. It's a very personal exchange (for most people) that usually carries a psychological and emotional significance - contrary to what a prostitute would 'presumably' learn to evolve to in order to cope with such a lifestyle and sustain their own sanity. The more sex/partners someone has, the less significant it becomes over time. For most people, it is nearly impossible to ignore the mental/emotional aspects that are typically associated with sex. So, even if you KNOW that she is working you, there is a part of you that wants to believe that her words/actions have some truth to them. -Hence, why so many gents get suckered in to their game and taken for a ride (NPI).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

^well to be honest I would classify a bargirl as smth entirely different than say a hooker in the west. From my observations they act more like a girlfriend than anything else - this is what confuses lads who lose all clarity when they act this way. However one caveat never changes - the dosh. (if one stops thinking with the wrong head, one can't be easily duped) But "my girl is different" mentality is too strong for some lads to resist.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

and then occasionally someone stops paying them ,they stick around and you end up married, just to add to the confusion

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

^yes Rac, great ending to a story. Most just want a better life and are not at all bad people. However then you have the evil ones that well do not give a sh*te about the c*nt struck lad and will take him for everything he has.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

My advice would be to go to the young lady’s father and ask for her hand in marriage without further ado. She seems like quite a catch.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

:D Superb.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

ok, i'm back home since a few days and you know what, i am sitting here, reading my own topic and thinking about what a fool i've been to even waste a thought on this whole story. i have to admit, i was a bit drunk and desperate at that time, s### happens. it was my first time in a bar like that and i just didnt expected the girls to be that good at lying. i didnt knew a lot about this whole bar scene before, but i've been talking to a lot of the girls who work there and a lot of the locals who live around that area and i can now safely say, i would never ever consider a bargirl as relationship material. there might be some who are honest, but to find them seems more like searching a needle in a haystack (or maybe more like russian roulette). even though, i had a great time in the philippines afterwards and i can definately say that i wanna come back someday. i hope you guys had a great laugh reading my initial post and thanks for your support :rolleyes:.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Fair enough - you're not the first, and you won't be the last to find the whole thing a bit 'confusing'. Main point is you had fun, [u]and[/u] you got home without getting tangled in an expensive mess! So next time you come over, you'll know what to expect and have even more fun as a result...

Also - it takes balls to come on here and admit you'd made a wally of yourself, so respect for that!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Agreed CC - as I always say you can be immune to the BS when you realize it's the same story over and over again. Seriously ask the ladies same question and you will get the same answer over and over again. It's amusing to say the least - if you know how to play the game then you can't be taken.

As for relationships w/bar girls - happens more often than you think and for the most part they work out. However if meet someone and want a chance in hell of it working out then you must be together. Long distance relationship will only lead to disaster. Also if relationship centers around dosh then you have a paid relationship not a relationship if you follow.

Anyways since you know the game as CC put it, you will have more fun than you know. :rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Yeah happens all the time, I've lived here five years and pretty much know all the BS, and generally know how to turn it round to my advantage , but even so, I still got bazookered not long ago, and I still think it was different this time...

Maybe I should have put this in the "tribute to the beauty of asian girls thread" Edited by RacNamman

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0

Orient Expat Friends
Meet your global neighbours. . .



  • Posts

    • Foreigner, have Lao girlfriend and daughter. Worried about the Lao law.
      By stumpy · Posted
      Although there is a law in place forbidding sexual relationships between unmarried couples I have not heard of it being enforced for a long time now. How is your relationship with your Lao girlfriend ? If is is shaky and she wishes to keep your daughter and have nothing to do with you, then it would be easy for her, or one of her friends, to go to the police.   On the other hand, if all is well and you do not spend nights with her and she is amenable to your daughter getting citizenship, all should be okay.    As your name is not registered as the child's father in the family book you will have to go to court.
    • Foreigner, have Lao girlfriend and daughter. Worried about the Lao law.
      By chchong · Posted
      Hello, I'm a Swedish citizen having a Lao girlfriend and daughter. Now, we are planing for our future togheter. But have many concerns.  I have not been back to Laos from the time I meet my girlfriend. By that time, for many reasons we decided to live seperate life's. And I was not in Laos when our daughter was born.  This mean, I do not have my name on my daughters birth certificate. I have been told by the Swedish embasssy, I will need to go to court in Laos to get an official court decision on my status of father to my daughter. As this will be needed somehow if I would like to apply for citizenship for my daugther.  But actually more importent. I am very worried about the law forbidding foreigner to have relationship with Lao citizen. I'm quite afraid of going there for this reason. From what I have read, you can be fined for this. But even jailed and deported!  As I have a daughter. How serious is this? Me and my girlfriend are not married.  Even if I do not cross the line this time, do not spend nights with my girlfriend or anything sexual. Can the police arrest me for having a daughter?   Thank you for sharing your experience.
    • Why did Singaporeans vote for the workers' party?
      By Bluecat · Posted
      Because they're tired of voting for the same party for the last 50 years? A party that lives in the past when it was and is still OK to jail the opposition. If they're that good, why do they actually need to sue and jail  their critics?  
    • Thai court voids 'secured' foreigner leases
      By Bluecat · Posted
      Reminds me of this one again :-D http://youtu.be/16u0wwCfoJ4
    • Thai court voids 'secured' foreigner leases
      By Bluecat · Posted
      It is not outrageous at all, it is the law. It is not a law I agree with, for the reasons Morlar mentioned, but it is the law. And well,quite a few foreigners in Thailand think the Thai law does not apply to them. It does.