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Philippines bar girl GF dilemma

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Posted

Hey,
Im young and live in the U.K at the moment, planning to go and tech English in asia. I went to The philippines this summer and met a few girls... from the bar scene.
I became very close to 1 in perticular but i also had feelings for one of the others.
Im back in the U.K now and she(Anne) tells me how much she loves me often. She told me she want nothing from me apart from my love and to be with me. I have also been speaking to the other girl and she tells me how Anna has another customer who she claims to love also. I know she has to work as she has no money, so i can accept this. But not if she loves another guy.

She alwasy tells me how she hasnt been with another guy since i left which i know is a lie because i get told by her friend. Her friend (Alice) also has feelings for me and she seems to be more honest. She want to go back to her province and study at univerity. She has only been workign at the bar for a few months she is 18 and had some very bad luck hich she told me about and then decided to leave her province and become a bar girl but she hates it.

Im split between these girls, i cannot talk to anna about the things she is lieng to me about because i promised her firned i wouldnt because it would cause so much trouble there.

I really dont want to hurt any of these girls... but i have to choose one or none.
I really dont know what to do because i wear my heart on my sleave and have fallen for them both. I dotn know what to beleive anymore.
Alice said she is just tryign to find her prince charming and then she wants to go abck to study, i said i would go and see her in her home province of samar... im pretty sure there are no GIRLY BARS there haha.

I beleive anna is ieing to me but i am finding it hard to let go even though i know if i dotn i will get hurt further down the line.

Alice just seems to be perfect... but i cant let go of Anna

Im probably just an idiot... i want a serious relationship even though im young...

Im just very confused... as i keep thinking to myself Anna could change... but i cant cope with the lieing.

any thought on the situation... sorry about the random layout of the post

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Posted

Mods - thoughts on this one? My troll sensor has started buzzing but it's borderline so I thought I'd stick it in here...

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Posted

Difficult to say... that's the thing with these bar girl threads, they're so cringe making to read yet so believable at the same time. I say lets leave it visible because some people find it entertaining.

I'm actually rather tired of replying to these BG threads because it's just the same old rinse/repeat... nono's thread was the last one I wanted to be bothered with.

[quote name='YoungOne' post='106021' date='2008-10-08 03:57:51']Im young and live in the U.K at the moment, planning to go and tech English in asia.[/quote]
Is it any wonder, that English language skills are often so poor in this region, when 'teachers' can't even use capitals properly, or even have a grasp of basic spelling and grammar.

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Posted

Ditch them both - more likely find grief with either of them. :)

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Posted

[quote=YoungOne]Im probably just an idiot...[/quote]
:)

You got that right.

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Posted

[quote name='YoungOne' post='106021' date='2008-10-08 05:57:51']..... in her home province of samar... im pretty sure there are no GIRLY BARS there haha.

Im probably just an idiot... i want a serious relationship even though im young...[/quote]
Where in Samar? Which provice?

Samar has some developing projects, in Northern Samar, there are many beach lots there for sale.
There are also bars in Catarman City. Or check about other small cities, like Calbayog, Catbalogan and over the bridge in Leyte in Tacloban...
-----
A serious relationship when still young is very OK, however I am not sure, if these 2 girls are the right women, and if you are ready for a long-term relationship.

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Posted

I'm ready for a long term relationship with your bank account . . .

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Posted

Wakey wakey of course they both love you. Did you think they would say that they hate you.

I know what you mean about they have to work, blah, blah, blah, but this will only go one way believe me.

How old are these girls and how old are you ?

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Posted

He says he's young but well, this is what I say to myself every day... :)

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Posted

Its funny how your own definition of an "old person" changes as you get older..

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Posted

To be honest.... I am young im 18 years old...These girls are 18 and 21.
Both girls know they will not be benefiting much financialy from me.
Also this is a forum and no one really takes alot of care with making sure there are no typos or gramatical mistakes... so I would appreciate it if you didn't judge my English, i'm aware I make mistakes but I coudln't care less thank you.

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Posted

At the risk of getting slated....

If Young One is a troll, what is the problem in it ie why delete the posts (as someone proposed above)? Mandrunk, from other posts on OE I think you say a large proportion of click thrus come to BG related threads. And since (I assume) you earn a fair proportion of your income from this site and thus benefit from increased visitors, why not let the 50/50 troll/not troll posts stand?

Don't want to send this thread off on a tangent, so email or PM me if you wish. As you well know from the stats I post infrequently but visit quite often. No doubt you have your own idea as to what type of person I am from my posts and visits (but I am not jacking off in Sunderland I can assure you). I do like OE as I find it a decent source of discussion and information, without a lot of the hyperbole, melodrama, insults etc that goes on on some of the other Asia related sites. But I do often think you take the policing a bit too seriously sometimes, and that it might drive people away.

Btw to prove the computer ain't always right, I am by the Pearl River in Guangzhou at the moment, not as you would prob think from the ISP stats, in Surrey. Our BES resides there and I am typing this out on a Blackberry 8700 whilst drinking a warm and rather flat draught Tsingtao at Lucys Bar, and contemplating my 15th Marlboro Light menthol of the day (why does Asia make me smoke menthol?!)...but then you probably knew all that already :lol:

A

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Posted

Speaking as a mom hear I say FORGET THEM BOTH! Sounds like they are both trying to use you. If you want a serious relationship a bargirl is not the answer. Wait till you move there and look for a girl from a good family. If you just want to have fun do so but be aware that they are in it for a someone to take care of them not for love.

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Posted (edited)

(for arguments sake I will assume you are not a troll Young One)

Young One, you are 18... a very delicate age in a man's life when it is easy to get pussy whipped. Anna sounds like she has you by the balls, and you sound like your too scared to make her let go.

Keep them if you want, just remember that what you are getting is probably prostitution in disguise. Even if your broke, a lot of pinay's consider foreign men to be a well of endless money and security.

If your a high risk person and you really want to try "love" with one of them.. best wager would be Alice. Though regarding "love" she still she bets at $100/1 compared to a innocent catholic cebu girl... but if u like taking risks... Edited by urbane

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Posted (edited)

First question is where is your Dad? I would suggest you have a conversation with him about this.

Next bar girls. They are married to the bar life. That is lots of easy money by hustling guys and shabu (that's crystal methamphetamine). Another fact about them is they spend everything they make and remain poor in spite of making many times what the average Filipino makes. They simply cannot live a normal life. Do not think your going to rescue them from a life of there own choosing. Trust me on this it almost never ever works out.

Now I do understand why your pussy whipped. Another reality check here. These girls which are prostitutes (they typical start at around 16 years old) have F'ed hundreds of guys before you and are laying pipe with different guys every day after you. Do you know what happens when you do something over and over again? You become very good at it.

One more thing to remember, do you know how to tell if a GRO or Japayuki is lying? Her mouth is open. This is no exaggeration. It may surprise you that many of these girls simply do not know how to tell truth about anything, they live by simply adapting to the situation, saying what they think the guy wants and giving him what exactly what he need physically.

I could suggest some good stuff to read but your going to have to ask for it.
Talk to your dad, that would be a good place to start. Edited by CupOfSoup

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Posted

truth is if you spend anytime at all in the philippines, you'll hear the term crab mentality, everyone on them is the definition of jealousy, they hate seeing one go further than them, so they will always tell you something to drop another in it, be it truth or lies!

they don't have the same values as you and i, a lie comes in various levels to them, if it's below a certain level ( the level is determined by the prize lol) it's not a lie to them!

you need to spend at least 6 months there, before you can suss out their mentality, DO NOT SEND MONEY!!!
there are over 90million ppl there, so must be 45 million girls, which must equate to at the very least 2million girls in your bracket there. it's a buyers market there, that sounds terrible i know, but it's the truth if your not VERY careful, at your age your prime meat.

probability is neither of them love you! don't trust anyone there, and even if you do eventually meet the one, never trust her completely, you will ALWAYS be second to her family!

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Posted

Over 4,000 views for this one-paged thread...


[quote name='Coyotes' date='27 August 2009 - 05:06 AM' timestamp='1251367563' post='119742']and even if you do eventually meet the one, never trust her completely, you will ALWAYS be second to her family![/quote]-Strong words...

...but, you might be right.

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Posted

With all due respect - They are prostitutes - you do realise that don't you? Would you pick up a girl from a street corner in the UK, pay her 15 nicker for a good time then make her your GF? Don't be a prat, save yourself some time and do some past OE forum reading. Have your fun and get out , then continue to have fun elsewhere, you are far too young to be tied down to anyone let alone take on the baggage of a woman who turned to prostitution because she married young and he left her with kids and she has no education and no other choices etc etc etc etc Don't buy into it , leave that to the sexpests.

peace

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Posted

In the Philippines, lot of girls can be "bought" for sex, which makes them prostitutes by definition indeed.
But their ultimate goal, usually, is not money but finding a husband.
And when they find one, they're as faithful as any other girl.
But more jealous.
This is why I did not marry a Fillipina girl :rolleyes:

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Posted

Flipper birds are jealous and paranoid to the extreme.

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Posted

[quote name='Bluecat' date='28 August 2009 - 12:26 AM' timestamp='1251386806' post='119784']
....their ultimate goal, usually, is not money but finding a husband.
....And when they find one, they're as faithful as any other girl.
But more jealous.
[/quote]
In Philippines, there is no divorce in the lawbooks. And to get a nullification of your marriage contract can take many years and costs a lot of money.

Philippines is the only deeply conservative Catholic country in Asia.

Therefore the behavior of Filipina women, who are living in Philippines, who never had contacts with foreigners and were never out of their own country is very different from Western women, but also from other Asian women.

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Posted

Ok...I am now aware of the way things work in SEA, BG's are a no go and I give this advice to everyone. These girls didn't want anything from me though, so money was not a factor which amazed me. I was naive about everything to start with but soon began to realize and thing WTF am I doing. Well I finished school and like I said before, I was planning to teach English in SEA. I started speaking to this Thai girl online and my instincts kicked in straight away...but this girl is different and I knew it, I could feel it.
She was from Thailand, so I thoyght to myself, why not go and teach in Thailand and see what she is like. Soon I fell in love with her, for sure you are all thinking "oh no he is in touble, so young and doing this, with a notorious Thai girl". Like I said this girl is not the same...and the secret to finding true love and an honest woman in Thai especially...is to find a girl who has money already, she will love you for you because she does not care about money. I have been living in Thailand for 2 months with this girl and I havn't taught English once, she told me I can not earn a nice living with the money she told me I should start to do soem business with her parents :D....I have hit the jackpot and the business is kicking off nicely and we are so in love. I am so lucky and I know it and guess what....she is looking after MY family as much as I do hers, we are both working for our families...whilst making major ฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿

Thailand is still untapped for many business oppertunities :rolleyes:

Thanks for your comments, just thought I would update the situation.

:) :)

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Posted

[quote name='YoungOne' date='31 August 2009 - 09:54 PM' timestamp='1251723265' post='120016']
...I have hit the jackpot and the business is kicking off nicely and we are so in love. I am so lucky and I know it and guess what....[b]she is looking after MY family[/b] as much as I do hers, we are both [b]working for our families[/b]...whilst making major ฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿
[/quote]
I wonder, what means, 'she is looking after MY family'? 'working for our families'?

Do you have children, who are living with you out of a previous relationship?

I also wonder your visa status, I doubt if you have any labour permit for Thailand. You are working something, you said?

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Posted

[quote name='YoungOne' date='07 October 2008 - 03:57 PM' timestamp='1223413071' post='106021']
Hey,
Im young and live in the U.K at the moment, planning to go and tech English in asia. I went to The philippines this summer and met a few girls... from the bar scene.
I became very close to 1 in perticular but i also had feelings for one of the others.
Im back in the U.K now and she(Anne) tells me how much she loves me often. She told me she want nothing from me apart from my love and to be with me. I have also been speaking to the other girl and she tells me how Anna has another customer who she claims to love also. I know she has to work as she has no money, so i can accept this. But not if she loves another guy.

She alwasy tells me how she hasnt been with another guy since i left which i know is a lie because i get told by her friend. Her friend (Alice) also has feelings for me and she seems to be more honest. She want to go back to her province and study at univerity. She has only been workign at the bar for a few months she is 18 and had some very bad luck hich she told me about and then decided to leave her province and become a bar girl but she hates it.

Im split between these girls, i cannot talk to anna about the things she is lieng to me about because i promised her firned i wouldnt because it would cause so much trouble there.

I really dont want to hurt any of these girls... but i have to choose one or none.
I really dont know what to do because i wear my heart on my sleave and have fallen for them both. I dotn know what to beleive anymore.
Alice said she is just tryign to find her prince charming and then she wants to go abck to study, i said i would go and see her in her home province of samar... im pretty sure there are no GIRLY BARS there haha.

I beleive anna is ieing to me but i am finding it hard to let go even though i know if i dotn i will get hurt further down the line.

Alice just seems to be perfect... but i cant let go of Anna

Im probably just an idiot... i want a serious relationship even though im young...

Im just very confused... as i keep thinking to myself Anna could change... but i cant cope with the lieing.

any thought on the situation... sorry about the random layout of the post
[/quote]

Most girls that are in that kind of industry wants a way out. If she's working in a bar, she see's a lot of men.
Their job is to try to make money. After you leave, there will be more guys just like you that she will meet. If she does that all year long, imagine how many guys she can catch w/ the bait. It is a win win for her. 1. There is a high chance you will be back to see her. 2.You might send her money. 3. You might fall in love and merry her.

I've been all over South East Asia, and every time I go there, I always have a following of girls. Why is it that when I am here in the states the girls do not act that way?? And it seems every time I go back there is always new girls that I met and they try to make me fall for them.

If I were you, I would just forget about it. I'm almost 100% sure that if you go back there, It will start all over again. You will meet new girls and they will try to pull the same stuff. I've seen 60 year old men with early 20's girls there. Its all about money. They think every one over seas has money.

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Posted

She looks after My family as in, we send money to my Mum in the UK. We help each others families, her parents work with us, but slightly different work.
Her parents also rent us their land for free, and supervise work...They are too good to me to be honest.
I have no children, i'm 20 years old....
I have a tourist VISA for the moment because it's just easier.
You can PM me about my work if you like, it is industrial work.

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Posted

You are very lucky . .but careful if you come to depend on her too much. She is giving you a job, a relationship everything. I'd be putting a lot of your earnings into the bank incase there is a breakup.. because it will also mean the end of your career there too.

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Posted

I think many are too quick to jump on the "they are only after your money" bandwagon. Sure, if he was old and established maybe, but remember, Philippines girls outnumber guys 10 to 1. Many girls are never going to have a husband. That's why you see those guys who stand outside with their shirt up rubbing their belly. Some girl is willing to work her ass off and feed and take care of that guy so she can have a husband, even if he does nothing all day.

This kid is 18 years old and a white foreigner? He doesn't have to have a single peso and plenty of girls will love him. [b]Really love him.[/b] And yes, they would work and take care of him too. Many girls would be happy to have mixed blood children too.

I am not saying that is the case with the girls in his story, but stranger things... right?

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Posted

[quote name='teruchan' date='09 May 2010 - 09:07 PM' timestamp='1273460868' post='129518']but remember, Philippines girls outnumber guys 10 to 1. Many girls are never going to have a husband.[/quote]-Who told you that?

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Posted

Actually, just count the number of girls in the bar versus the number of customers. Bar girls are bar girls, it depends on her personal experience and time in the bar. I know Filipinas that never worked in a bar, came from "good" families, and are cheating on their husbands whenever they can. Even when their bread is buttered by staying with their husbands.

I know Filipinas that appear to be quite faithful to husbands that are older, ill, and not rich. So it is easy to paint individuals with a broad paintbrush, but not particularly accurate. That said, a relationship with a bar girl, while interesting, is likely to end badly. As to the original poster, at eighteen, he probably needs an educational thump or two.

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Posted

[quote name='MrFantabulous' date='10 May 2010 - 08:36 AM' timestamp='1273455393' post='129506']
You are very lucky . .but careful if you come to depend on her too much. She is giving you a job, a relationship everything. I'd be putting a lot of your earnings into the bank incase there is a breakup.. because it will also mean the end of your career there too.
[/quote]

I am VERY lucky, I am learning the language very fast, and also all our business contacts know me as well as her. She keeps all the earnings with me, and she accept looking after large amounts. She doesn't care about the money shes just happy I came to Thailand for her and am staying with her. She is just finishing a Law degree from Ramkhamheng Univ, which is a extremely hard degree. This girl is true love, she wants nothing only my love and support mentally.

Not many girls like this in Thailand, maybe not even in this world. I would be a fool to destroy a relationship with such a girl. Funny, intelligent, knoledgable, beuatiful, cute, sexy, loads of friends cooks amazingly and a great family the list can go on and on.

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