I Want To Marry A Vietnamese Woman

130 posts in this topic

Posted

Can you guys tell me what steps would I have to take to make this possible? Also what should I watch out for? And if I do meet and marry one, how can I protect my assets? Both before and after marriage.

What I am looking for is what steps would it take from start to *finish and what would be the minimum time frame it would take to do each step. (*Finish being having her back in the states as my wife, and legal citizen)

I am new into this subject and so far I am thinking of using a matchmaker, any ideas? comments?

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Posted

And why do you want to marry a Vietnamese girl?
You're indeed new into this subject.
And we believe you... :laughing1:

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Posted

A Recipe for disaster!!!

I think visiting SEA would be your first step and getting to know the people/culture.

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Posted

Try online dating sites. They're a quick and relatively painless way to lose your money and your dignity :laughing1:

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Posted

And if I do meet and marry one, how can I protect my assets? Both before and after marriage.

...I'm guessing you're better off sticking with hookers :laughing1:

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Posted

Try online dating sites. They're a quick and relatively painless way to lose your money and your dignity



:lol:

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Posted

Bluecat::::::
Because they are...
Faithful
Thankful
Respectful
Smart
And cute as hell...
I was married 20 years to an American woman and I will never do that again. In my opinion most American women are way too self cantered for me. I want a wife that will appreciate the things I do for her, and if she does I will rock her world both and financially.

As far as the negative comments that were posted, please expand. Am I totally missing something here? Or do you guys just have jokes? I found them funny but not very helpful.

A Recipe for disaster!!!

I think visiting SEA would be your first step and getting to know the people/culture.


What exactly is SEA? I tried to Google it and I was unable to figure out anything.

SEA= Southeast Asia

This could be interesting...

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Posted

Well yes any lady can fit the above characteristics that you mentioned above. I guess what we are trying to get at - what is your relative experience with asian women in general?

I'm assuming you must have some because you just don't wake up one day and say I'd like to marry a Vietnamese bird?

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Posted

Yeah that's why I didn't reply earlier. From your first post it sounds like you know very little and are looking for what is essentially a mail-order bride (not that there is anything wrong with that...) Obviously you know thatwhen it comes to women from anywhere, you can't afford to generalise. You're likely to get burnt that way.

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Posted

Lets cut the guy a little slack... We all have our notions of an ideal woman for us and we want to arrive there (if you haven't already). I must admit that I've heard so much about these Vietnamese girls that I'd love to hop on the short flight over there to spend a little time, maybe even have a beer with totlanh and hanno... and get to know a few of the local lasses

... but without spending a year or two on the ground as a cultural primer, G_Whiz, you're likely to have difficulties.

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Posted

G_Whiz, many foreigners have come here because they were tired of Western women and expected to find a docile floozy here that looks great, jumps into bed at a drop of a pin, and does the dishes. If that is what you are looking for, you are in trouble when it comes to Vietnamese women. They are beautiful and nice, no doubt, but they are also tough as nails (much tougher then the VN men in my opinion and will not take cr*p from anyone. Also, how are you going to communicate? Are you ready top adjust to bridge the cultural divide? Are you willing to support the whole family (often, but not always, part of the deal). And how do you expect to find a suitable wife?

I think you should head back to the drawing board and think this one through to avoid any disappointment down the road.

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Posted (edited)

Bluecat::::::
Because they are...
Faithful
Thankful
Respectful
Smart
And cute as hell...
I was married 20 years to an American woman and I will never do that again. In my opinion most American women are way too self cantered for me. I want a wife that will appreciate the things I do for her, and if she does I will rock her world both and financially.

As far as the negative comments that were posted, please expand. Am I totally missing something here? Or do you guys just have jokes? I found them funny but not very helpful.



What exactly is SEA? I tried to Google it and I was unable to figure out anything.

SEA= Southeast Asia

This could be interesting...



It's a teensy-weensy bit of a generalization to say that mate, isn't it? Pop'n of VN is 80M or so I think, so to say that 40M VN ladies meet those criteria is a bit ambitious ... put it this way, if it IS true, then there wouldn't be a 'farang' left in any other country across SEA!!!

It's a bit like the posts you see fairly regularly stating that all Thai women are either (i) every man's living dream [bit like your ideal VN lady above] or (ii) money grasping harpies out to rip you off at every turn ... the answer of course is, "they're neither, it all depends on the individual" - so if I were you I'd tread VERY carefully - and if you're already talking about "protecting your assets" then I also have to ask - are you quite clear about your motivations for doing this?

CC (married to one of those fantastic / despicable Thai ladies [delete as appropriate])


Edit: typo Edited by Captain Chaos

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Posted

G_Whiz, many foreigners have come here because they were tired of Western women and expected to find a docile floozy here that looks great, jumps into bed at a drop of a pin, and does the dishes. If that is what you are looking for, you are in trouble when it comes to Vietnamese women. They are beautiful and nice, no doubt, but they are also tough as nails (much tougher then the VN men in my opinion and will not take cr*p from anyone. Also, how are you going to communicate? Are you ready top adjust to bridge the cultural divide? Are you willing to support the whole family (often, but not always, part of the deal). And how do you expect to find a suitable wife?

I think you should head back to the drawing board and think this one through to avoid any disappointment down the road.




Wot Hanno said ...

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Posted

honestly, you really want to meet a Vietnamese woman?

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Posted

Who me? :lol:

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Posted

nah! im talking to Whiz, you already got your chance Mand. :lol:

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Posted

Sounds to me like the chance is still there :lol:

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Posted

A Recipe for disaster!!!

I think visiting SEA would be your first step and getting to know the people/culture.


Thats a good idea, however because of my job I will only be able to stay there 3 weeks a year. But I will be sure to study the culture and history before I go. So hopefully I have a jump on things.

Try online dating sites. They're a quick and relatively painless way to lose your money and your dignity


I agree with Captain Chaos...


Well yes any lady can fit the above characteristics that you mentioned above. I guess what we are trying to get at - what is your relative experience with asian women in general?

I'm assuming you must have some because you just don't wake up one day and say I'd like to marry a Vietnamese bird?


Ok, I will fess up... When I was 15 my dad hired a young (20Yold) Viet babysitter for my younger brothers. We all know what's on a young guys mind at that age. So you could say I have always had a special place in my heart for them. And just recently here in the states I dated one for a very short time. It was not planned on it just happened. (Unfortunately due to myself not knowing the cultural differences along with my stupidity I messed that up, so I do understand first hand the importance of knowledge in this matter.) Thus bringing us to the point of this long and painful story. The girl I dated made the feeling I had for Viet women come alive again. And that brings us to here. :lol:

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Posted

Ok, I will fess up... When I was 15 my dad hired a young (20Yold) Viet babysitter for my younger brothers...

Yeehaa!!!... now we're cooking on gas ...

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Posted

Yeah that's why I didn't reply earlier. From your first post it sounds like you know very little and are looking for what is essentially a mail-order bride (not that there is anything wrong with that...) Obviously you know that when it comes to women from anywhere, you can't afford to generalize. You're likely to get burnt that way.


You are right I was painting that with a pretty large brush. (My bad!) As far as a mail order bride goes I am not sure, due to my time constraints it may be something I have to consider.

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Posted (edited)

Lets cut the guy a little slack... We all have our notions of an ideal woman for us and we want to arrive there (if you haven't already). I must admit that I've heard so much about these Vietnamese girls that I'd love to hop on the short flight over there to spend a little time, maybe even have a beer with totlanh and hanno... and get to know a few of the local lasses

... but without spending a year or two on the ground as a cultural primer, G_Whiz, you're likely to have difficulties.


Thanks, and duly noted!

G_Whiz, many foreigners have come here because they were tired of Western women and expected to find a docile floozy here that looks great, jumps into bed at a drop of a pin, and does the dishes. If that is what you are looking for, you are in trouble when it comes to Vietnamese women. They are beautiful and nice, no doubt, but they are also tough as nails (much tougher then the VN men in my opinion and will not take cr*p from anyone. Also, how are you going to communicate? Are you ready top adjust to bridge the cultural divide? Are you willing to support the whole family (often, but not always, part of the deal). And how do you expect to find a suitable wife?

I think you should head back to the drawing board and think this one through to avoid any disappointment down the road.


Ok, I will keep that in mind. You forgot to mention they are also loyal to their family. Kind, considerate and don't say anything unless they have something good to say.
As far as communication goes I am learning to speak fluent Viet b4 I go over there. This is not something I will be doing tomorrow. It will happen in 18 months. By then I will be well educated on hopefully "everything" I need to know. This is the reason I am here at this board. I am trying to find out the steps I need to take to make this happen. Ie: the reason for the thread.
As far as supporting the whole family goes I have to cross that bridge when it comes. Hopefully it doesn't but I will see.
How do I expect to find a suitable wife... Good question, kidding...
Well first I would have to find one that is willing to relocate to the states. I could go over there and maybe meet someone, if not I am not against considering a matchmaker. Probably just check out the scene and see what's up.
Now, how do you recommend I find a suitable wife? Aside from moving over there.

It's a teensy-weensy bit of a generalization to say that mate, isn't it? Pop'n of VN is 80M or so I think, so to say that 40M VN ladies meet those criteria is a bit ambitious ... put it this way, if it IS true, then there wouldn't be a 'farang' left in any other country across SEA!!!

It's a bit like the posts you see fairly regularly stating that all Thai women are either (i) every man's living dream [bit like your ideal VN lady above] or (ii) money grasping harpies out to rip you off at every turn ... the answer of course is, "they're neither, it all depends on the individual" - so if I were you I'd tread VERY carefully - and if you're already talking about "protecting your assets" then I also have to ask - are you quite clear about your motivations for doing this?

Crystal clear...
Yes it was painted with a very broad stroke... I do know the difference. thx

honestly, you really want to meet a Vietnamese woman?


Yes I do. That is why I am here..

Perhaps I need to clarify a little what I am looking for... Let's suppose I already met a Viet women...
Now what red tape am I going to run into in trying to marry her and bring here back to the states. As far as paperwork, processes and such. And what are the steps I need to take for each of them.

Like....
Visas.
Contracts.
The best way to get married.
Where to get married.
The different ways to handle it if she is Buddhist, Catholic or whatever.
etc,etc,

I know it has to be more complicated than just going over there, sticking a ring on her finger and flying back together. :lol: Edited by Mandrake
Five consecutive posts merged

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Posted

Well first I would have to find one that is willing to relocate to the states.



G_Whiz's pickup line: "hey there, you look like a loyal woman, care to move to the states with me?"

Works every time

Seriosuly though, you would be better off to get some good books on Vietnam, start from the ground up. research history, culture, and read what is available on the topics you have suggested. If you are unsure about anything you have read or want to bring something up, then it would be a good time to put it to the forum. This is a discussion group, not a school (no offense intended at all). Otherwise it makes it look like you just want to know how hard it will be from the get go, and if too hard will give up.

It is good that you are taking the time to learn before you go. However, I do not recommend that you try to find a wife for yourself the first time. From what you have expressed, it seems to me that a matchmaking organisation would fit you perfectly (they do the legwork for you). I'm not sure if there are any good ones though, anyone else?

Fluent viet in 1.5 yrs from the US? Gee what's your secret? (seriously, what methods will you be using to learn?)

Good luck anyway mate, I don't think it is a pipe-dream. Btw I was fascinated by your first avatar of the YinYang, this one's not as entrancing :lol:

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Posted

Lets cut the guy a little slack... We all have our notions of an ideal woman for us and we want to arrive there (if you haven't already). I must admit that I've heard so much about these Vietnamese girls that I'd love to hop on the short flight over there to spend a little time, maybe even have a beer with totlanh and hanno... and get to know a few of the local lasses

... but without spending a year or two on the ground as a cultural primer, G_Whiz, you're likely to have difficulties.


Hey Mandie i thought you were a Tea drinker now!!But even if you are i,ll still take you out in Hoi an should you ever make it here pal!

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Posted

Bluecat::::::
Because they are...
Faithful
Thankful
Respectful
Smart


You're indeed right.
The majority is probably like that.
But I'm afraid the ones you will meet online will be the exception.
Except for the smart part... :lol:

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Posted

"G_Whiz's pickup line: "hey there, you look like a loyal woman, care to move to the states with me?"
Works every time "

**** Good point, perhaps I will just bust out my financial statement instead.

"Seriously though, you would be better off to get some good books on Vietnam, start from the ground up. research history, culture, and read what is available on the topics you have suggested. If you are unsure about anything you have read or want to bring something up, then it would be a good time to put it to the forum."

**** That will be done in time. Do you happen to know any good books that would offer me more information than the people on this board can. These people have boots on the ground. They are in the trenches so to speak. I don't think you can learn that in any book. (Props to the fellow board members.)

***And besides is this a book club where we have to read the books first before the meeting? What books do you recommend? (no offense intended at all) Being here on the forum is part of the learning process for me. There is and will be many other steps I will be taking to make this happen. All I am trying to do is learn from others with experience.

"Otherwise it makes it look like you just want to know how hard it will be from the get go, and if too hard will give up."

**** You couldn't be farther from the truth on this one. If you read the title it says "I want to marry a Vietnamese woman." It does not say "I want to marry a Vietnamese woman unless I feel it's too hard." I just want to know the steps involved. As in the paperwork and legal stuff. etc... Specifically starting from the point after we meet and fall in love and now we want to take this to the next step. That is what I am looking for.

"It is good that you are taking the time to learn before you go. However, I do not recommend that you try to find a wife for yourself the first time."

**** You are right on this one, I will make my first trip to enjoy the people and learn about the culture. And take lot's of pictures. How's the water?

"Fluent viet in 1.5 yrs from the US? Gee what's your secret? (seriously, what methods will you be using to learn?) "

**** MENSA, along with a few jeet kune do classes... And I might stay a few nights at the Holiday Inn Express...

Btw I was fascinated by your first avatar of the YinYang, this one's not as entrancing

**** My son always tells me, simple minds simple pleasures.

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Posted

You're indeed right.
The majority is probably like that.
But I'm afraid the ones you will meet online will be the exception.
Except for the smart part...


OK, not all women are the same, and the ones online (because they are from the city) might not be as well versed in morals and family values so beware and walk carefully young daniel-son. Got it.

Now can you offer me any information on this...
I just want to know the steps involved. As in the paperwork and legal stuff. etc... Specifically starting from the point after we meet and fall in love and now we want to take this to the next step.

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Posted (edited)

I still think you're going at this backwards. You make it sound like the first parts will be easy. My advice? Go from the ground up. Do the language and culture thing, find a girl, eventually ask her to marry you, THEN get to the specifics. You're making it too difficult for yourself. If you want to do things the way I think you are, then marriage brokers are the way to go (they sort that stuff out for you), and no I don't know any. They also provide some means of filtration for both "her" and you. Find a good one thouigh, and not an illegal one of which there are many. Actually try googling "marrying a vietnamese woman" and you will get some idea of the issues you may need to think about.

You mention falling in love. Would you expect to do so with a western woman in a couple of weeks, and then expect her to marry you? If you do this, you are likely to run up against the same pitfalls that many foreign guys get caught by in Thailand. You will love the idea of her, and she will love your money and the hope for a better life (which away from her family, language and culture it may not be). If this sounds harsh, sorry, but it can help to have a reality check sometimes.

If you know all this and you still want to do it the way you seem to be, good luck.
I don't know if anyone here has experience in this sort of thing, but some may know the details you want. Check out the US dept of immigration website or something.
All I know is (from doing a 10 second google search) that a Vietnamese can't just leave on a tourist visa and not come back. They have to get some kind of registration. I'm not sure how wary the officials are at the moment about foreigners taking women overseas, but theyre having big problems with Asian guys doing this illegally.

Edit: Also, if you don't know much about the culture, how do you know you will be compatible with it? You can take the girl out of the culture, but you can't take the culture...well you know the rest.

Edited by Jetsam

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Posted

:lol:
All good valid points. These are opinions I truly appreciate. I will be reading this post over from time to time to make sure I keep these points in mind. I know my way seems a little backwards but when there is something as big as this i want to achieve; I tend to gather all the needed information first and then I start putting a plan together to accomplish the desired results. Oh yea, thanks again it was a nice post...

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Posted

Why exactly a Vietnamese?
Was this something in the Christmas supplement of "What Wife" magazine?

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Posted

Maybe they haven't learnt all the Thai tricks yet?

No problem G_Whiz, I wasn't sure where you were coming from/what you had already considered.

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